Black Girls Lit!
Unfiltered, unbothered, and always lit! Whether it’s literature, libations, or life--Black Girls Lit is your new favorite vibe with page-turners and poured spirits.
Black Girls Lit!
The 13th Pour: Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams
A new year means new energy—but first, we’re facing the mirror.
In our first episode of 2026, we step into Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams, a novel that captures the chaos, vulnerability, and raw beauty of a woman on the edge of everything. Queenie is navigating heartbreak, mental health, career microaggressions, family pressure, and a relationship to self that’s unraveling in public—and in silence.
The story hit home for all of us. There’s a kind of emotional honesty here that doesn’t flinch. It’s not always easy to witness, but it’s real—and necessary. We talk about what it means to lose yourself, to be misunderstood even by those closest to you, and the quiet work of piecing yourself back together.
This episode felt like group therapy—but with joy and jokes tucked in where we needed them. We hold space for the discomfort, the beauty, and the unspoken truths about Black women’s pain and survival.
Start the year with us in reflection, resilience, and realness.
Come for the book. Stay for the conversation. 💫
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SPEAKER_00:Step into the lit light. Black girls lit starts down.
SPEAKER_03:Black women are so complicated.
SPEAKER_04:Hey y'all, it's Tasha. I'm Lex. And I'm Steph. And I'm Sarah. Welcome back to Black Girls Lit Podcast. Happy New Year, Boogie Betty! 2026! Welcome to 2026. We hope this year brings all the things that you have prayed and slayed for and that it rains nothing but blessings on you. I, for one, am so excited about this year and can't wait to experience all the things, especially in regards to this podcast and where we are headed. Y'all, we we're doing big things. I'm telling y'all, we are going places. I so mean that. And if we're going, you know that means that you're going with us. Oh, wait, hold on. Did I just do a little manifestation? Y'all, I'm I'm speaking it up because it's gonna happen. Okay, okay. Before I get too much into it, let's go ahead and tell them about our featured spirit for the month. Let's start. Yes.
SPEAKER_02:So happy new year, bookish baddies. Welcome back. So this month we are talking everything whiskey, but specifically Sir Davis, the whiskey made by our queen.
SPEAKER_01:My secret BFF.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, we love her. We love her. So a little bit about Sir. Sir Davis is an American rye whiskey founded by yours truly, Beyonce. It's known for its complex flavor profile, offering a sweet, tangy, buttery toffee spice on the palette. So, ladies, we have a little shot of the Sur Davis. I know for some of us this is our first time trying Surf. So I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I do. And I. Yes. So let's cheers and give a little taste. It is a strong.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's a strong one. I am definitely getting that buttery toffee. Like it's not strong in a bad way, like, oh, put hair on my chest.
SPEAKER_01:Like, yeah, there's no burning. Okay, ladies.
SPEAKER_04:Is this no Beyonce?
SPEAKER_03:Isn't it very like dainty? It's very demure, very mindful.
SPEAKER_02:Call it dainty and demure. But it's good. It's good. It's smooth. Okay, right. And what we have it pairs well with what now? So today we are having a steak salad with our Sir Davis. And so, really, the Sur should enhance the spice and the citrus notes in our salad. So everyone take a few chumps of your salad with a little bit of the surf. And then Steph will tell us about the book that we're talking about today and our author.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_02:Let me tell y'all.
SPEAKER_04:The little grilled in the whiskey. Give me a steak and whiskey. And I'm like, oh, you're feeling it?
SPEAKER_01:You're feeling it?
SPEAKER_04:Yes. I mean, in the salad, because I mean it's New Year's so I got resolutions and all that. We're being I can't. I can't. I'm definitely trying to be skinty in the in the 2026. But um the way this grilled steak and this whiskey is parent.
SPEAKER_01:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, we have so much to discuss with this whole Queenie. Who girl? To give you a little bit backstory, Queenie is a novel about a 25-year-old Jamaican-British woman in London named Queenie Jenkins, who struggles to find her place in the world after a painful breakup, leading her to make a series of self-destructive decisions. I mean self-destructive, and confront issues of race, identity, and mental health in a candid and often humorous way.
SPEAKER_02:Is it?
SPEAKER_01:The success of the book led to it being made into a show on Hulu. The author, Candace Cardi Williams, was born and raised in South London, via Jamaica. She is a showrunner, cultural writer, and author. She has written for publications including The Guardian, I.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, y'all. Queenie. We in it. Let's go ahead. How do we feel about it? Let's do our let's do our rating. Cheers. We love it. Sip, it was okay. We give it a three stars. Babysit, that's a two-star. And um, the one star, you know, that we hate to use is send it back. I'm gonna start. I'm gonna tell y'all right now. Like, and I know like the last two books, this has been a thing for me. I'm really coming in on babysit. And I feel like I gave the last book a babysit as well. And it's like almost for like the exact opposite reason, whereas there was like no, it was not enough realness in the last book. This book was a little too real for me. Like it was just like too much. Like I, it was hard for me to read. Like I understood it toward at the end, you know, like what the message is being prepared that was like being portrayed, but it was too much. So it was difficult for me to get through because like so many times I was like, girl, I was mad at the start of the book, and I I'm you know, I'm I'm about to like throw the book, throw my phone, like everything. It was a lot for me. So for that reason, it was hard for me to get through. It wasn't badly written, it was well written, and I I understand, but it was hard for me to get through. So for me, it was babysit. I did not enjoy it. I was I was too angry, and that's not why I read.
SPEAKER_05:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:She was looking for an escape, y'all.
SPEAKER_04:I don't read to be angry.
SPEAKER_02:So angry. I feel like my opinion's gonna be the unpopular one of this episode. I'm gonna give it a cheers. That's your business. I don't care. Only because it was an easy read for me, for sure. Like, as far as like understanding, conceptualizing what was going on, following the storyline. But it was emotionally difficult to read because of how much uh Queenie was doing, how much she was going through, how she was being treated, how she allowed people to treat her. It was very, very hard to read. Because you literally were reading the downfall of a black woman in this book, right? But I think that's what made it good because one, the writing was excellent. I think the writing style is something that's super hard to do because she was flashing between the present and the past throughout the whole book, and the way that she was able to make it flow was really well. But I'm giving it a cheers because it was real. Like I know a lot of women who have gone through a similar process at that age, it was very relatable in that sense. But then it also talked about the importance of therapy, it talked about the taboos of therapy, especially in black households. Um, and it talked about how to build yourself up, but also understanding that healing is not linear, and that is what I really, really loved about this book. So I'm gonna give it a cheers. I stand, I really liked it.
SPEAKER_01:You know, Lex has really enlightened me. Oh, thanks. Don't change, no, don't change your mind, Stephen. Don't change your mind. I'm not changing my mind. I mean, it's still not gonna get me a cheer. Okay, but I'm gonna it's I'ma do a babysit though. It was difficult to get into in the beginning because it's like you wanted to just wring her neck continuously. She was dumb. Um, the the writing of the book, my issue was when I didn't know it was going into a flashback. A dot dot dot is is the assumption supposed to be made that it's a flashback? So for me, it wasn't in the beginning, it wasn't easy to read because I felt like, oh, I think after the second one, it was like, oh, this is a flashback. Good to know. Difficult read because of all of the issues she was handling in the beginning, where the relute where we started getting answers towards the middle, towards the end of the book, and there was resolution where it was like, I'm in my happy place again. But in the beginning, I was just like, who is the I can't. I was like, I don't even want to watch the series on Hulu. But after reading the book, I will say that I would possibly consider watching the show because of the book and the outcome of the story. And it's a continuation. I think it's a continuation because it's something that is real life, and it's something that you do have to continuously go through and deal with, and it's how you handle it in your 20s. And she's doing that, but she was doing it in a way that I'm not accustomed to.
SPEAKER_04:That's so nice of you.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, that's cool. I acknowledge all of your ratings and all of your takes on the book, and I love that for us and the different perspectives that we bring to the table. It's absolutely 1,000% a send it back for me. Send it back, send it all the way back. Do not task go, do not collect$200. It's a no for me. I've been 25, I get it, I get it. The realness of it, yes, and we'll we, you know, we'll go on down through there. But it's it's a no for me. There were a lot of things as a black woman that off top, absolutely not. Like off top, no, it's a no for me. All the things, not to the writing style, the you know, the realness of the situation and the things, the counseling, all the things. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. The reading this particular book, watching the series, not gonna happen.
SPEAKER_01:She said, no, ma'am.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, okay. So clearly we we all got some feelings on it.
SPEAKER_01:And everybody has different ones too.
SPEAKER_04:They're right. And so we we don't need all the cocktails for this one. Start what's the first cocktail that you you brought us today?
SPEAKER_03:So the first one we're gonna jump into, it's um it's called the gray area. Okay, it's our take on a blackberry mint julep, okay, on the signature Kentucky Derby. Drink of the Kentucky Derby. I apologize. Cool refreshing, also made with the Sir Davis, and it's um pressed blackberries, a honey syrup, which is honey and water, a combination of honey and water. And that's it. Real simple. So we can go ahead and give that a give that a taste. And while you guys are sipping on that, we'll get into the questions. Cheers.
SPEAKER_04:It is very refreshing. The honey and blackberry may not be my favorite combination. It also may be the fact that, I mean, the surf day was on his own. Like, she was bringing what she was supposed to be bringing. So I'm kind of like, why y'all messing up with all these, with, with this honey in it? I'm not a real honey person, though, I'll be honest with you.
SPEAKER_03:I don't mind it in my tea. It's not um. Yeah, but I like it. If you've ever had a mint julep, if you've had a mint julep and you like it, you would like it. Okay, maybe I'm gonna do it. Yeah, like it's a little spin on it. It has the blackberries, the fresh mint, the Sir Davis, the honey syrup. So it softens it up a little bit. Okay. The first question, the first discussion question that we're gonna get into is is there a difference between a break and a breakup? No. Oh, nobody asked me? That's the first question. Do we do we need to give any context? Was that directed to me on the question? Give some context. So a little context on why we're asking this question. So to at the beginning of the story, right, we are introduced to Queenie, who is in a relationship, right? She's in this relationship, and they live together. They live together for a couple years, and there is a point where the decision is made that they need to take a break. From there, the story begins, but ultimately Queenie was taking a break. The person she was in a in the relationship with was breaking up. So this is where the question is coming from. And it took quite a while for her to.
SPEAKER_04:Like, what does that even look like? Either we together or we not. Like, there is no, so we're gonna take like a 90, we're doing like a 90-day probationary period to see if we are gonna break up. Like, what is a break? And again, I've been married for a very long time, so maybe I'm not the person to speak on it, but a break is a breakup to me. I don't understand no difference. My thing is you moved out, yeah. He kicked her out.
SPEAKER_02:Like, so she thought she was gonna move out for 90 days and then come back in. She was definitely in Deluluville. And I will, she was in Dululu for over half of this book, and that's what made it difficult to get through. Because we all saw it back, and she didn't see it. But I agree with you, Tasha. Like, when me and Antron were dating, we had talked about this. Like, do we believe in breaks? Like, what does that look like? And I told him straight up, there are no breaks. Like, if we need to take a break, that means we are breaking up. I don't do breaks. Like, what does that look like? Because what do you mean? Yeah, like if we're putting like parameters on the like, then we might as well just work through our shit at that point. But if you need a like, if you don't want to be with me, then that's what it is. So I personally don't believe in breaks at all. It's either we're together or we're not. Right. I'm gonna just leave it at that. Like, I don't believe in breaks either.
SPEAKER_01:I don't believe in break. I think it was a breakup. My issue with Queenie is what I've realized was this is her first true love. Yes. And she didn't have an understanding of how letting that go. And I think a lot of us have had that first one true love that like you love somebody, it's an infatuation, it's lust, it's like, I love this person, there's the only person I've ever I want to be with. And then when you finally meet somebody that's really treating you the way that you should be treated and giving you what you really want, it's still hard to accept that because you're still holding on to the love that you had because it was your first love and you thought this is it. And I think that was her issue because she never really knew what love was until she met him. And she had that was questionable, right? Yes, and uh, his family was immense. So it so yes, for me, it was a breakup, it wasn't a break. But in Queenie's mind, which I have to keep telling myself to go back to, because Steph's mind was like, girl. Move the fuck on, please.
SPEAKER_02:I wanted her to.
SPEAKER_01:But she just was like, she just didn't get it. And so it was once again, knowing the struggles, knowing where she came from, how she came to where she is today. This is her first true love, and she truly just didn't know how to let it go. But it was very frustrating as a reader because it was like, girl, he's not texting you back.
SPEAKER_03:Girl. It was all them unanswered text messages. Like, I need something.
SPEAKER_04:Y'all is broke it up. What are you talking about? Oh, we on a break. But meanwhile, she said my name was on a break, but I'm still sleeping with Tim. Everybody. Right. All these other dudes, like, girl, you're not, and even if y'all were on quote unquote a break, what dude is gonna take you back when you tell him, hey, I mean, well, during my 90-day probationary break, I was sleeping with about 39 people. Yeah, the hell? It was only 90 days. So you doing like what a new one every third day? Like she was down bad. She was. She was, and I'm not taking like so.
SPEAKER_01:We just said because she was the Lulu, we just we just gonna. I think she was seeking affection in the world.
SPEAKER_04:Oh my gosh, I wanted to fight her. And and I wanted to choke her, and I I literally wanted to fight her. So I was like, girl, y'all is broken up, move on, stop moving on like the way you're trying to do. Y'all broken up, just stop. And honestly, and I feel like if I had a friend, I would say, girl, that's your man. Like what?
SPEAKER_02:Well, and I think it comes back to they are like RuPaul says, how do you expect to love somebody if you can't love yourself? And that was the core issue with Queenie. She did not have, she did not talk to herself nicely. She did not see value in herself. She accepted love from this piss poor, mediocre, at best, white man with a racist ass family.
SPEAKER_05:Yes.
SPEAKER_02:And so, like, I think it just comes back to like Queenie had some serious self-hate that did not mix well with like trying to balance this relationship on top of her boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, not communicating well with her. Like, they or they didn't communicate well with each other because she was a bitch to him.
SPEAKER_03:She was.
SPEAKER_02:But he also was not clear. Because how are you gonna tell me, oh, we'll revisit this in three months? And you're like, Yeah, but y'all are not understanding like what that means. Like, I think there was just a lapse in communication, but she should have gotten the hint when he was not answering those text messages.
SPEAKER_04:That was like somebody tells you, hey, he was gone, we need a break. But when I say break, I mean get all your shit out of my house. Like she does. That's a breakup. There's no way in your mind you really should have taken.
SPEAKER_03:You was bringing your shit back in 90 days. So there's a couple of things like with breakups or in breaks. I've always been confused about breaks, especially like when married people say they're separated. Separated until you finalize the divorce, or what, like what is that? So people do go on breaks, but I never understood it because I think thought of it in terms of separated, you're right. Again to Lex's point, it's like a break from what? From one or each other to so like we don't like each other, clearly. If we're taking a break to try to come back, to make sure that we don't like each other. Like, I don't get that. So yeah, for me, I agree. Like a break is a breakup, but the other perspective is when married people are separated, they don't always end up divorced. Like sometimes people get separated and they end up getting back together and living happily ever after. So I don't know, it's a thing. But they realize when you're it's it's expensive out here on your own. It's cheaper to keep them. Uh but I think in a situation when you're living together, changing that dynamic is definitely not a break. If we're in our own spaces and we're taking a break, then maybe, okay. Like, hold on, let me back up. I've gotten a little too involved in this relationship. I need to replace. Prioritize myself and what that looks like in this relationship, maybe. But once you're cohabitating, like the break from that is the relationship is over, or like in severe trouble. So, like, it's not, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02:Like, she should have taken the hands, but she should, she should have. But also, Tom should have said that's what he wants.
SPEAKER_01:But he's such a punk.
SPEAKER_02:No, he wasn't shit either. And that's why not all the blame.
SPEAKER_01:Because even with his family, he was like, he'll be like, It that's just that's just star. Yeah, that's just how they are.
SPEAKER_02:No, right, he was not a great choice.
SPEAKER_04:Just ignore my racist uncle. Like, um, he don't know what he's saying.
SPEAKER_03:But sir, for real, like we But he was never a good choice for her, and I'm not gonna go into my personal, my personal views and opinions on interracial dating, but it's not for me. Because what you won't be doing is living your fetishes out on my side. Like, but I mean I feel like we should talk about it. And that's what I felt, that's what I felt like it was for him, honestly, and quite and quite frankly, some of the other guys that she ended up dealing with. Okay, so you felt the same way. Like No, it was definitely was not a genuine, yeah, like a genuine care, concern, definitely not love. Like, definitely not love. No, but she that's what she thought she deserved. And I hated that. Like that is what completely turned me off.
SPEAKER_02:Like, oh, absolutely. That's what she thought, but there are women out here who are just who are like that. It was they don't think they deserve no better, and not some of those things.
SPEAKER_03:They just want to be held, and some of those things are like nothing disgusting to me to read.
SPEAKER_02:Like, yeah, it was disrespectful. I didn't like that on a whole other level, it was disrespectful, but that is the reality for some people.
SPEAKER_04:Jesus. I'm I'm coming, I'm coming to the end of my first drink, so that that's looking like second drink for us.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, Queenie was out here sexing for sure, for sure. She was out here sexing. So this one is dedicated to that era of her life. That was extremely hard, extremely hard to read. I hated reading. People were just taking advantage of her body, and it was oh my god, it was very sad, it was very sad.
SPEAKER_04:My poor phone almost got thrown so many times.
SPEAKER_02:But that's why I love the book because I think that was the point. I think we were supposed to be uncomfortable. If you were not uncomfortable at any point in this book, something is wrong with you. Okay, I truly think that was the point. But, anyways, Oshi Buccan. That is the name of our next drink. It is a Texas buccan. So it is a twist on a whiskey mule. So it is Sir Davis, of course, with lemon juice, honey syrup, and star talked about how to make that in our previous drink. It's just honey and some water and some ginger beer. Ladies. All right, ladies. Cheers. Because she was bucking. We out here bucking too. Let's go. Are we though? So I've never been bucking like Queenie was bucking. That was reckless as hell.
SPEAKER_04:Anyway, that's why you're not gonna talk crazy while I'm getting sipping a drink. I gotta be prepared. Because never in my life.
unknown:I like that.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, let me tell you about it. I know the the this is good. Uh-huh. Yes. And I'm y'all know I'm not big, and we've had ginger beer with other stuff, and I've not been a fan of it. The way, okay, the way Sir Davis is blending with all of the stuff.
SPEAKER_02:Like it's very good. Okay, Queen, we see you. Okay. So actually, we're not gonna talk about Queenie's sex life with this question, but we can definitely get into it. Because I feel like we've been waiting to talk about a lot of stuff in this book. So it's just gonna go wherever it goes. So Queenie had a circle of friends, piss poor and mediocre.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, they were trash. Um mediocre at best? No, they were trash. Sorry. Because they knew she was out here bucking, and they were not her friends.
SPEAKER_02:Okay. If you were a part of her circle, how would you have shown up in that group chat? The Corey. Let me say and the Corey.
SPEAKER_04:Y'all not beat her. Go girl, go girl.
SPEAKER_01:She got too much on her test. Go, Tasha.
SPEAKER_04:This is the thing. I'd be like, um, bitch, you need what? With who? Cause why? There is no way me being the friend that I am to my, like to my real friends again. And I got some associates. I'd be like, oh, all right, girl, you like it. I love it. But to my friends, like to like my sister circle, to anybody at this table, if you told me you was out here doing the reckless stuff that she was doing, I'd like child. We better have a whole intervention. Y'all pull up, pull up at the house. Like, we're not. There's no way I'm finna be in this group chat being like, okay, well, maybe. And I'm doing like cute little like emojis or anecdotes. Girl, you have lost your damn mind. We hey, y'all, the rest of us, we gotta sit down with her because she is on some other stuff, and we need for her to see herself the way we see her, because there's no way she out in these streets wilding out like this, and we are insupport of it. Like, I was really waiting for her friends to show up the way I feel like if I needed my sister circle to show up for me, that they would show up and be like, because again, that's what your real friends do. They should they tell you when you wilding out, they be like, girl, you let him do what? Nah. And the fact that it was like the damn doctor that was like, Hey, sis, you not okay. And it wasn't her homegirls that told her you are not okay, was a real problem for me. So that's why when I was reading the book, I was like, Who, well, who the hell are her friends? Like, girl, let me let me jump in this group chat because I have so many things to tell you, sis. Yeah, I was so bothered.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I think the issue that I had with that was she put boundaries within her whole she was very close, dog. She was to everybody from her boyfriend to her family to her friends. And it was one of those things you as soon as you hug her, there was like, oh, I'm sorry, Queenie, I know you're not a hugger. And it's like, but why aren't you a hugger? Like, I'm that friend that'd be like, well, why don't you like to hug? And then it's like, because I was never hugged in life. Well, what what happened? Like, if I'm your friend, I'm not saying we're gonna have a full-blown conversation, you're gonna give me your life history that particular night. But over time, for me to have a better understanding of why you're the way that you are, I think it'll be, hey, maybe you should talk to somebody. Clearly, they knew about her mom. Clearly, they knew about her dad. They knew certain things about her life where they were aware that she was having struggles. And then whenever the topic, oh, I'm sorry, okay, I forgot. I let me not bring that up. Well, why can't I bring that up? If you were gonna be uncomfortable, let's get you uncomfortable to make you comfortable.
SPEAKER_04:Keep it a buck. How are you showing up in this group tag? Do not be sugarcoating. You is not a big thing.
SPEAKER_01:I ought to be Cassandra. I ought to be Cassandra, where she was very upfront, like, I'll put it on my tag, let me give you this money. I would be Cassandra Chessie. I forgot her how to pronounce her name.
SPEAKER_04:It don't even matter. Jessica? How is Stephanie showing up in this group? Because Stephanie be keeping it real with people, like for real, for real. This is your real friend, and you see her out here doing this foolishness. What are you for real for real saying?
SPEAKER_01:I wouldn't be saying I wouldn't say anything in the group chat, I would have a conversation with her. And it wouldn't be like, I would be like, you need to talk to somebody. And my thing is a girl that has family from the islands, my parents are Haitian, and the therapy in that and all of that, they don't believe in it. And I told my mom, all your sisters need to look in the mirror. And I said, and all of them have sheets over it because they don't know how to look at it because they can't see the reflection that's staring at them. And so my thing is you need to be able to stare at that reflection. I look at mine every day and I know my flaws and I know what I need to work on. And I try, and I'm not perfect. So for me to my friend, how I would show up, because I've done that with some of my friends, like from a weight loss journey, from a loving themselves journey, from making a relationship better within a family member, whatever the case may be. It's like, well, what are you doing to get there? I can only do so much. What are you doing? So as a friend, I would have a side conversation. I wouldn't have anything in the group chat, and I would encourage her that she would need to speak to somebody because and she'd be like, Well, we don't do that. And I for me, if I have to do me and not her friend group, my parents are Haitian and they don't believe in that, and you're supposed to just put your head under and keep going. I'm that family, I'm a strong person because it was like you just had to figure it out, and I figured it out, and I overcame it, and I'm a good person for it, but not everybody can say that. And so with her, I'd be like, I came from a family that's from the islands too, and they don't believe in that, and you have to shoulder and you just hide it. No, you don't, because if you keep hiding it, it's gonna chip away on the inside and it's gonna kill your insides, and then you're gonna be by the end of that, your death is at the door for you. So I would show up by saying, You need to speak to somebody, like whatever you're doing, we have to figure it out because you need to love yourself. My thing to her would be like, you don't love yourself, and why don't you love yourself? And I and we know why she doesn't, but I need her to get to figure that out because your worth is better. They saw how good of a person she is, but I mean, even from her job, I was like, girl, get it together.
SPEAKER_02:She was like, and that's how Steven is showing up in a group saying, like, girl, like that's the real thing, though. Because at the end of the day, everybody is grown. Everybody is grown, and nobody grown women don't like to be told what the fuck to do. Like, let's keep it a bug. Like, they don't. Okay. And so it's like, okay, so it's like, again, I've had many friends that have been maybe not in this specific situation, but in situations where they have needed help, and you can tell them, girl, you're fucking up, you need help, girl. Are you okay? I'm worried about you, you need help. If they don't believe it for themselves, it's gonna come go in one ear and out the other. So now I'm wasting my breath.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm judging.
SPEAKER_02:And I and not saying that her friends, I feel like they showed up for her at the right time when she was ready to receive them. So at the end, when she was like, I'm getting therapy, I'm doing all of this, they were there for her. They were like, Yes, finally, how are you? Are you good? What's going on? But honestly, at the end of the day, all you can do is sit back and watch if your friend is not listening to you. And of course, they she did not go into detail about like if her friends had had an intervention with her, if her friends had talked to her about it, but you can only assume that probably some conversation would have happened. But Queenie was not trying to hear none of that, and she made that very clear at the beginning of the book. She was not trying to hear none of what people had to say because she thought about herself, what she thought about herself, and she knew what her family thought about mental health and all of this stuff. So she she was not, they could have told her till they were blue in the face. You need help, you need to talk, you need to leave him. Y'all are broken up, but she didn't believe it up here. So it would have just gone in one ear and out the other.
SPEAKER_01:And then I would have been that friend that'd be like, mm-hmm, girl. So we going out to eat Friday? Because my thing is after a while, I I'm tired. Like I'm that type of person. You can't, you just gotta let him. Yeah, you have to, and I you got to let them know. And I I would let her do that, but I I would do the intervention. Like, I do have friends while I talk on the phone and be like, hey, what's going on? Well, what can I do to help you to get there? Or you have to start somewhere or give them information. My thing is, I agree with you, Lex. Like, she didn't think she had a problem. Like you had she thought she was cool, right? And it was just like, no, you're not. Enough people will tell you, but until you're able to receive it and see it.
SPEAKER_02:It don't matter.
SPEAKER_01:It doesn't. And so it took the Estlo, the therapist at the doctor's office to tell her to finally get some assistance. And it was just like you going to the clinic so many times was the only reason. I was like, girl, go to the clinic. Therapy and condoms, people, PSA. So it was just like she had to get there on her own. She did, but it was just very frustrating.
SPEAKER_03:But that's the process people go through. Oh, I want to have friends to be better. So I think, okay, so in all of that, I think there's a piece that I that I don't hear that we need to acknowledge. Okay. Right? We need to acknowledge the age group that we're talking about. Okay. And these friends. And it's the reason that I tell my son, like, listen, if you have questions, if you don't understand, like, please come talk to me or talk to another real adult. Because your silly ass friends, they don't know. Just like you don't know, they silly asses don't know either. Not adultery or adult. Like, you need a real adult. But she didn't need a doll that live ones. And I think that's a part of the problem. So, like when we say, how do you show up in the friend circle, right? Like us at the ages that we're at, right? Like we've we've been that age, right? And I think, and the ratings speak to it, right? Lex can relate a little bit more because it's a little bit closer to her age group right now, right? Like currently, versus we're in a completely different stage where the main character in this book and her friend group, there are children's age, right? So our perspective is a parenting perspective, right? Been there, done that. You assholes are clowns, and your friends are clowns, and y'all need some real adults in your life, right? So that's that's a piece of it that we have to acknowledge. There's a difference, you know, different life stages, right? And who you are in different life stages. I can't necessarily speak to how I would have showed up in the friend group at that time because I don't know, I know when I have my son. So I know where I was mentally at that stage of life, right? And we're talking early 20s, everyone. So if we didn't catch that, if we didn't say it previously, I think Queenie's what, 25?
SPEAKER_01:25, so you're in your mid-20s. 25.
SPEAKER_03:So we're talking mid-20s, right? Really at that, I'm grown, right? You're out kind of on your own. You don't really have to get permission from parents. You maybe are your own, your first apartment. You're really living on your own. So you can move recklessly because nobody really can see. You know what I mean? So I do remember that stage. I do remember that stage in life. But I do think one of the most important things for me, and while I can't say specifically how I would have showed up then, but I know how I would show up now in a friend group, and it's similar to Steph. Like, oh, we're gonna have a side conversation. Like, I'm cool for starting another, another text, you know, like chasting. Like, hold on, let me come over here and talk to you what's really going on and have a conversation. But self-worth is really at the core of it. That is something that I've always had. I don't know if it was the relationship that I had with my father, the relationship that I had with my with my mom, the relationship that I saw them have, the relationship that I had with my family, the type of family, you know, that we had. Like, I don't know what it is that gives us that foundational self-worth. But that's the piece that was missing for her, right? And so when you're a 25-year-old friend that maybe doesn't even understand that that's a thing yet, you know what I mean? It may be hard for you to, you may think that being a friend is not judging your friend, you know, just supporting your friend and being a yes man. You know what I'm saying? Like, nah, whatever you want to do, I'm with it, ride or die. You know what I mean? So I just think that's something that has to be taken into perspective is the the life stage that she was in. And again, still, I'm still sending it back. I still didn't like it. I still don't agree. But the reality of the situation is that you do have these grown-ups or these new adults that are dealing with real life things that quite frankly, they don't know how to deal with because they've never dealt with them before. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04:So, or it's something that giving advice from other quote-unquote adults adults, the fake ass adults that also don't know nothing. It's a whole bunch of 22-year-olds giving each other bad advice. Giving each other bad advice family that is just like don't show, don't show, don't show, don't ask, don't ask, don't ask. Right.
SPEAKER_02:It's the perfect storm. Yes. Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Because we we cannot act like that whole the older generation of no, we just be doing They were not there for her. Right. We we cannot act like that's not a thing. Like the whole, no therapy, no, we ain't talking nobody about our problems, whatever. Yeah, and she got sucked out. As much as I be kikiing about Steph with her like therapy and condoms, like this book for real was like a whole story of girl, no, talk to somebody, love yourself, get some therapy, get some damn condoms. Oh Lord Jesus. Right, like, and not for nothing. So sometimes because of the role I play or whatever in the podcast, oftentimes I read ahead of everybody. So when I'm reading, sometimes I read it and I'm like, as I'm reading, I think about what all of you guys are gonna think as you guys are reading. I try to like to predict. And most times I am on point, but the whole time I was like, ooh, Steph didn't have a field deal. Because if these people don't get some therapy and some condoms, I was like, okay, Steph, I was like, okay. And I was playing a little game in my mind, like, how many times can Steph say therapy and condoms in one episode? But because this is what the episode is girl. Because if it was not about like At least she had an IUD, but that don't stick with her from disease. Yeah, she was super reckless. She was super reckless. She was self-destructive.
SPEAKER_02:It was so hard for me to read and get through because not because it was a bad book, but because she was making bad decisions. Yes. And maybe that isn't a good idea. Okay, yeah. It's not because the book was. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Maybe that's the parent in me. Like you're not. She was making some risk. It might be that. And so, I mean, to Star's point, it might be because I am coming from a 47-year-old monster, like, okay, these kids, these are my kids' age. Like, your friends tell you do what like that, boy. If you don't strap up, like what? Okay, I get it. You finna be out here wilding out. Hey, you bucking, she bucking, whatever. But we at least finna be safely bucking. Like, what? Right. Like, right. So it may also be an age thing because I just could not be like, no, what? And your homegirls didn't tell you to because I could not imagine a scenario where I'm like, Star, girl, hey, me and Av, we broke up, girl. I'm a I'm out here on Tinder. I did and she'd be like, What you mean you're not here fucking with no with no calling them? Yeah. Like that would be her first one, like Amazon.
SPEAKER_01:What? Let me send this. Like, girl, let me.
SPEAKER_03:And what's your address right? First of all, I will send I will send the order. Yeah. I will door dash.
SPEAKER_04:But I should know DoorDash, no call no. Right. So it honestly, and it may be sometimes again, like, you know, age guy things do show up, and it's like, oh, okay, so maybe that is it. And so that might be why it was so hard for me. Because I was just like, why is your friends not telling you? That's ridiculous. This is unreal, it's it's too much. No, I can't. But but more. Importantly, why do you not feel the need?
SPEAKER_02:Girl, I would just fuck your friends. Like, do you not sell you your body? And she did it. She didn't. She didn't.
SPEAKER_01:She did it. She didn't know.
SPEAKER_04:At the same time, by the end of it, I totally do understand. Like, I mean, I totally did understand what the author was trying to portray. And again, being like a lot, like I grew up in the military, and I was a lot of times, I was the only black girl in a lot of situations my whole entire life. So I do understand what she means, you know, being like, oh, well, when dudes are looking at you in a certain way, or if you like, I mean, you cute for a black girl, or oh, I mean, well, I just really, I'm not really into black girls, or you, I mean, it's always, oh, well, you know, you're butt, or you're this. I mean, so I do like, it was a lot of stuff I 100% definitely could relate to. But when I can relate to those things that I've heard about myself, and it might be because of the point I'm at in this time in my life. And I maybe if I would have read it around the juggernaut, I don't know. But I was just like, there's no way I would have responded that I would respond to somebody thinking of me in that way. And it may be because of the growth I have right now and because how much I love myself. I just can't be, I can't be in that place. That might be a real thing. Like, the hell.
SPEAKER_03:But something that's very important though is the relationship that a girl has with her father. Oh, the way Nelson Neal like important. Like that was so important.
SPEAKER_02:Because I mean, I can only assume because the book take took place in the UK. Yes. I've never been to London, I've never been to any of those places. But I'm assuming I graduate school in England. Okay, period. But I'm assuming that those places are pretty like white dominated. Like you don't see a lot of people that look like you.
SPEAKER_03:But we're there, but we're there. We are there.
SPEAKER_02:We're we're there, sure. But I'm sure like we are definitely the minority. And so that is something that I could relate to Queenie in as far as growing up surrounded by white people, this the whole self-hate. Like I went through all of that. Because if you're if you're growing up around white girls and the white girls are getting all the attention and they're getting the dates, and they're getting asked to prom and they're and then you're not simply so you're thinking it's because I'm black. And when you grow up, like it doesn't matter. Cause I also love my dad. Love my dad down. I'm a daddy's girl. Both parents were in my household. But when you are at school and your friends are like, oh, like I got asked on a date, or I blah blah blah, and you're not getting that, I understand. I understand that, I understand how that can affect how you view yourself. And so I could see how like if you grew up in a place that was more diverse or was more black, where everybody seemingly was getting attention or getting all the things that you wanted, then it'd be different. But she was surrounded by whiteness. Well, that's it. And so I was like, I agree. I get that. I get that too. So I get that too. But does that mean that I'm gonna sleep around and like it's a good thing? No, that does not mean that. But I get the whole like not.
SPEAKER_04:But at no point was I ever, even though, if even if I never felt like, oh, the pretty girl is, I mean, because again, I grew up definitely I said the only one in a lot of situations, the only black girl. But I never ever at no age let myself be used, let my body be used the way that was depicted in this book. So that the part that I was agree with. I never did.
SPEAKER_02:Oh my gosh, when is this fucking book finna be over? But I understand the self deprecating though, and that just comes out, and for her, it came out as her being hypersexual and just not giving a damn about who was in her and what was in her.
SPEAKER_01:My thing was that my thing the who and what it was. I think it was the anal. Like when you let when you just let a random guy you just came home with and an anal. Yeah, I was like, girl.
SPEAKER_02:But if that's how she's feeling like, oh, I'm worth something because someone wants to do this to me.
SPEAKER_01:So like I had a two-parent household, but I wasn't a daddy's girl. My dad, being from the islands, no emotions, they didn't discuss things. It's you do what you're told, it needs to be done. So I did seek affection from whenever I would get attention, I would seek it and get it from the men. So when I did meet my husband, he was the one that truly courted me, truly took me out on dates, yeah, took, you know, made me see view things differently. And I held on, and here I am still holding on. But I have a better relationship with my father now and have a better understanding of where he was coming from. But at the time that I needed it, I wasn't getting it from you. I was just getting discipline. I was getting this is what you need to do. And the only affection that I was getting was from my mom. So it was just like, so when you do get the male attention, you just like, how do I handle that? Yeah, and it's like you sometimes you don't know how to handle it. But I will say I knew how to say no to, yeah, and how to stop certain situations from going to a place where I didn't want it to go to, where she never did. She didn't care. And it was just like she did it and her bowels.
SPEAKER_03:Well, she did care. That's the part that was troubling for me because there were a lot of times where she was describing, you know, like as we're reading about these sexual encounters that she was having, where she was saying she didn't like it. She didn't want, like, it didn't feel good, but whatever. If this is what he wants to do, like she was just allowing herself to be. Because that's what she thought she knew.
SPEAKER_02:And that's why I'm like, was it a bad was it a bad book or was it just uncomfortable? I don't have a problem with uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_03:I don't have a lot of there's growth and discomfort. Yeah, no, it was the mm-mm.
SPEAKER_01:It was just like, I'm shaking y'all. I just wanted to shake her.
SPEAKER_02:Like oh yeah, definitely wanted to slap it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like it was like, girl. It was tough.
SPEAKER_02:It was tough to read.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, so I I see what you're asking. Like, okay, was it a bad book or was it just because I don't think it was difficult for you to read.
SPEAKER_03:It wasn't written, it wasn't written bad. It wasn't written back, but it was like as far as the content goes, you know. When we're rating the books, like it's nah, I'm sending that shit back.
SPEAKER_04:Like, not through it because if given any other situation, I would not, I was like, no, just no, I'm done with this book. I just can't.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_04:And maybe that was because the uncomfortability to read.
SPEAKER_02:No one, especially all of us as black women reading another black woman literally get damn near sodomy. She was right. I was like, at what point do we call it sexual assault? Like at one point, like no one wants to read and then you call God back, and then you called him back?
SPEAKER_01:I'm like, girl. No one wants to read that.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, no one wants to read that. Okay. Okay, I think it's me. Yes, yes. Because at this point, I am so hot. Just go ahead.
SPEAKER_01:We're gonna do a hot toddy, but it might be a little cool, but we're gonna do a hot toddy for our third cocktail. I'm so hot toddy. It's a warm drink made with whiskey, hot water, honey, lemon, and bitters.
SPEAKER_04:If you got like a little cold, a little flu. You mean a little flu? You mean a little hot toddy?
SPEAKER_03:This is definitely what you need. It'll help. It'll help you sweat some things out. Is what it is. All right, ladies. Cheers. Cheers.
SPEAKER_02:I love a hot toddy, so I'm Okay, not for nothing.
SPEAKER_04:I love hot today. Sir Davis can be served. It's hot, it's cold, it's sour, it's sweet. Like, I just there's not a bad way to serve up Sir Davis, is the only thing I've gotten from this day in these dreams.
SPEAKER_03:Oh now, this is delicious. Yeah, this is good.
SPEAKER_04:I'm just saying, Sir Davis is, I mean Sir Davis was again. We came with like the sweet, like a little sour, like a little hot. Like, if you're serving it in Sir Davis, like just You can have it anyway right now.
SPEAKER_01:Straight up too straight up. Sprayed up is good too. Yeah. So the discussion we're gonna have is Queenie is described as a new take on Bridget Jones' diary, which is a comedy. Did you find this book to be humorous? Ain't shit funny. At all. But I will say we're pointing something. I will say to throw in the Hulu show that they had. Reading the book, there are some parts, like there was the one where she slept with the the guy that was in the BMW, I forgot his name. Oh, Addy or Addie, yeah, so there was a like a random time where she was walking and she saw him at the bus stop and she was just waving at him, and the wife was in the you know, like hopped out. Right. It gave me sitcom. Like if I was watching a show, you know how in the beginning of a show, like you have an interaction and then you move on to a next segment. If I didn't know there was a Hulu show, I would be like, girl, I'm done. I'm done. But because of the show, yes, the comparison of Bridget Jones, yes, I see that because of the English, you know, you're in London, etc. Is it humorous? I didn't chuckle.
SPEAKER_04:This is the thing, and I because again, I I watched all the Bridget Jones. I think it was it two or three, it however many movies there was for Bridget Jones, I watched them. And I did I found them funny. I do not see in Bridget Jones' diary the using of Bridget Jones' body the way it was described in this book. So that's where the lack of humor comes to me. So if you just a woman out here like choosing to be like, hey, I'm exploring something, I'm single, I'm doing my thing, whatever, I'm sleeping around. Hey, I'm not I don't have no problem with that. That's fine because of British, she was like, hey, I'm fumbling through dating. That was fine. Like I feel like the lack of humor in this book for me came because I love black women. Where I'm at in life is I am so pro-black woman. Like I'm I'm here for it. So seeing a book written, even though it's written by another black woman, seeing a black woman's body being used just brings up too much for me. It's too much emotion, it's too much history, especially because a lot of you was white men. It was too much for me to ignore and to Kiki or chuckle at any point. So I do understand what the author was doing and where it comes from and the environment she was in. I get all of that, but it's too much backstory and history for me and where I'm at in my mind and my life and seeing a black woman being used because that's the only way I can describe it. She was a woman for me to chuckle at anything. Although I did like you know, I watched British Jones, and it was there was they were comedies, that's the way they were designed, it was cool. There was nothing in this story that made me laugh. Now, did I there was this some incident made me laugh? I did like the grandparents.
SPEAKER_02:That was the only parts where I tried to turn up, turn up that hot water when they were that drinking the wine because they were on medication. Oh my god, tee hee hee on the water.
SPEAKER_03:That grandmama had so many things that she needed to do. Like that list of things, like no, no. So you're gonna walk? Yeah, like you can't sit down. You're gonna cook. Since you're gonna be here. If you're gonna be home, y'all.
SPEAKER_04:So that's true. That's not made me tee he. That definitely made me.
SPEAKER_02:But the sexual encounters wasn't shit funny.
SPEAKER_04:The the extra characters, they definitely, I'm like, okay, y'all brothers something. Grandparents for sure. I definitely can relate to how this real grandparents, like, oh, y'all crazy. And even like the responsive therapy, girl, what? No. They said, what the fuck?
SPEAKER_03:You finna go tell you gonna go tell somebody outside about in about uh house being. They said you better pray. Because you ain't even telling them, you better pray.
SPEAKER_04:So even all of that, okay, that part was funny. But everything like about her and being the main character, I just I couldn't get down with it. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_03:Was it a comedy? Absolutely not. And I think there's a danger in, again, like just historically speaking, like, there's a danger in being desensitized to the sexual trauma of black women. It is such a no for me. Sorry. No, I mean, like, I don't know how you make like even a compare-the comparison. I've never watched Bridget Jones' diary. I've never seen it either. But the comparison hearing you make this question and knowing that there's even one person that's making a comparison to if it was com if that was comedy and comical, like making a comparison to this story is disrespectful as hell. It is like the like what?
SPEAKER_04:It is like there's never looked up Bridget Jones, it comes up under comedies. Like it it is, and how is this show classified? The show, like how is this show classified?
SPEAKER_01:I think for me, it's the stuff she does with her friends and the conversation that she has, her family, her aunt, her cousins. Yeah yes, that's humorous, but the interactions with any male It's bad. It's so bad, and then it's just like and so disrespectful and so derogatory. Like the way that they treat her. I was just like, you're like, I'm traumatized by black men. The white men haven't traumatized you. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But the thing is, like, she had one boyfriend when she was like, scared of black men. On the work on at work on the bathroom floor, and this motherfucker had the gall to go to HR? Like, are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, girl.
SPEAKER_03:Like, what?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, got a whole wife. I cannot baby on the way.
SPEAKER_02:Like, if no, I didn't see a comedy. Like, I no, it wasn't funny. The supporting roles were funny. Funny, but but her actual story was actually very tragic. Very tragic. But can we talk about though? And I know this isn't a question, but can we talk about like the growth that was made from like the beginning of the book to the end of the book? Because I think the full book was like a like about a year long. It was. Yeah, that book was. And so I will say, because that goes back to my previous point of like how this book truly shows that healing and therapy and like working through your shit is not linear. Like, okay, you're gonna get help, you're gonna get the tools, but that doesn't mean that you're not gonna have thoughts. It doesn't mean that you're not gonna go back to like the same pattern because you're comfortable with it, but then still being able to overcome. Like, I do think that that I personally enjoyed seeing that. Because I think a lot of the time when people go to therapy, they think, okay, I'm gonna go to therapy, I'm gonna get better, and it's gonna be great, and I'm gonna be normal. You know what I'm saying? This book showed that that's not the case all of the time. Like, what is normal? What is okay look like? Like it's a work in progress.
SPEAKER_04:Well, and I think that that speaks to your job in life. You work with young college people, and you get to see their story a lot of times, and you know, you have like, oh, people who are just entering college, and you get to go through experiences with them. And I've done it like with my own kids, but you're like, no, because I mean, as a mom, uh, some of my views are definitely gonna be tainted with that. But you're like, no, you get like new people, like I said, young, new adults coming into the world, experiencing stuff, and you get to see them from a vantage point of people who don't know their whole full story and this and that. And you probably have gotten a lot of stories and talked people through a lot of stuff, and like I said, and seen a lot of stuff that we may not have seen. So I definitely talking to you through this episode, I'm like, okay, let me ease up on her a little bit. Because again, I was like, oh, this fucking book growth was made. Like the fact that she was able to do that. Thank you for that, cousin. Thank you for that.
SPEAKER_02:I wish she was able to get her grandparents not necessarily on board, but them to understand that she needed to go to therapy, and this is how it helped her. And the fact that she was able to identify, well, shit, yeah, I miss Tom right now, and I wish I could tell him what was going on, but also he not shit. So, like, why am I reverting back to that? Like, I think having that self-awareness and seeing that self-awareness in her at the end of the book versus where at the beginning of the book she did not have not a lick of self-awareness or self-care or nothing. I thought that was very cool to see. And not that she was perfect by the end of it, because she definitely was not. But like the fact that she was at least able to look at herself in the mirror and be like, you know what? Yeah, I'm not gonna sleep with this man, I'm not gonna entertain this, I'm actually gonna push back on this racist ass shit that he's saying to me. Because at the beginning of the book, she would have just been like, all right, and opened her legs, and that was it. And so the fact that she was able to be like, I'm going home. That shows a lot of growth.
SPEAKER_04:And now that you say that, it also does think, I mean, it it makes me think of things that, like, you know, Star because Star, let me tell y'all, if nothing else, Star is gonna be the cheerleader for black men around here. Like, she's like, oh, black men. And in the story for not for nothing, it was the granddad that was like, hey, yeah, wife, let that girl get the chair. And that's the thing, too. So maybe sometimes, because black men are always having to like hold that down and like tamper their emotional stuff, he may have been like, girl, hey, could you please get the therapy I wish I could get? Because he didn't get because grandma was like, What therapy? No, we don't need that. Girl, get the Bible. We're going to we're going to the church.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_04:And he said, And he did say maybe if more of us did, you know, people, we would be okay. I mean, and not that he was gonna go, but the fact that he told his granddaughter, nah, do ahead and do that. That does speak to maybe where he was at. And so, and I mean, you know what, friends? I appreciate my sister circle. Yeah, fine. Because the way I came in, like, oh, this fucking book. But hearing y'all's perspectives on it and knowing what y'all experience in life and everything like that, not start with it and be like, well, I'm still sending it back. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:No, I'm still in a babysit. Like, I'm still in a babysitter. Like I respect everybody. Yeah. Yeah, but I just I can't. I I still couldn't because it was like, girl. But even with the grandfather saying it, the mom, her mom was just like, I'm happy you're going to therapy. Because it was fucked up. Because yeah, it was something that you should have been doing too to show your daughter that this is what you need to do. But she couldn't even recognize it herself because she was beat down so much. Because once again, it's generational. It's just like you have to get out of it. Like my father, my father was just like, My parents weren't emotional, so I'm not emotional. Well, I don't care. Like with my kids, like my parents, you go to school, but you didn't teach me certain things in life. You didn't teach me about dating. You didn't teach me about a guy courting me or my brother courting a girl, or you didn't teach me any of that. So I didn't know. And back then, y'all, we didn't have internet. Hello. We had internet media.
SPEAKER_03:Please understand.
SPEAKER_01:And so our research was a little different than what y'all have at the at the fingertips right now. So for me, it was just a little different. Where with Queenie, it was just like you kind of just want to shake her and be like, figure it out. So for me, I changed the ways with my family. Like I knew when I was growing up, like when I got married, I was like, I'm not gonna do what my parents did. I'm gonna talk to y'all about life because I need y'all to know that you can come to me. Where with Queenie and her family, it was just like they didn't give her that. And it was just like, you just muscle on, you just put it on and just got the waist definitely. And it would just probably be like, no, that's much. But no, but not too much. Now they're gonna appreciate it. But not for that.
SPEAKER_03:That's very, very important. And I think like we don't have to continue on the things. Like, yes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But if it's broke, goddamn it. Like, if it's broke, do something different. Like, we broke into it. Yeah, like don't be afraid to do something different. Yeah, I really did it. It only takes one person. Like, I I'm very, and I say that to people when people ask me, like, oh, why did you decide to do this? Or why are you doing this in your life? Like, oh, because I have a child. Like, yes, he's a young adult, but he's watching me. And I remember being that age and getting to a point where it was like, oh, my parents can't say this. They can't tell me that because they didn't, they didn't do this, they didn't do that, I didn't see them do this. You see what I'm saying? So, like, we can make the decision to be intentional in how we deal with things and how we progress our family, you know, the generations, you know, that come after us. Like, if we show our kids something different, then guess what? They're gonna have something different to show their kids. And another thing, too, old people are judgmental as hell. Like, yo, old people are the most mental people. Like, yo, like, I don't ever want to be that person. I'm cool for the wisdom and the knowledge, but like I appreciate and respect having young people, being associated with young people, because there's always gonna be a different perspective. We can all learn from each other. You know what I'm saying? So, like, one thing I'll say to anybody that is older or aging, like, stop being so damn judgmental, man. Like, young people, we were once the young people. You see what I'm saying? Like, at some point, at some stage in life, we were all the young people that the older people thought didn't know shit or didn't, you know what I'm saying? Whatever. So we can all learn from each other. Life evolves. We all evolve, we don't change like at the core of us who we are as people, but we evolve, we grow. So, like, man, oh, old people be judgmental as hell. Like, and it does, but sometimes they do the noise of shit. You be like, oh and there's a balance. Right, everything is a balance, everything is a balance, and I think there's the wisdom, right? Like, we want them to listen to us, but we don't want to listen to them. And sometimes, like, it don't work that way. You know what I'm saying? Like, you have to be open to, and that's where I respect the grandfather, hats off, and and men, like, especially my black men, like when y'all take the lead, man, in the right way, like it's powerful, like it's powerful, and it's it's what you're meant to do. It has the the ability to shape generations and shape the whole culture, really. You know what I'm saying? And that is a that is a heavy weight to carry, but like I'm with that for real. Yeah, the the granddad was was my guy for sure. Like, nah, you chill out. Yeah, like you chill out, let that girl go get some, go talk to somebody else. Because clearly we ain't got the answers for her. So literal gets man, she might be able to teach us something. Like, so yeah, that was dope for sure. So, any any final thoughts on Queenie? And again, a good read, if that's what you want, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm still sending it back. Um, but it made for good conversation and we knew we definitely did make for good conversation. And we kind of knew we were texting each other, like everybody was reading it at different stages. So that would that's always fun, like in our little group chat, like to be able to kind of tell which part of the book everyone is on based on the text message that they're sending to the group. Stephanie, like, girl, yeah, girl. I just knew we were gonna have good.
SPEAKER_04:There was not gonna be enough therapy or condoms in this book for Stephanie. I was like, I just it was one thing. If I had to bear money, I was like, no, if for sure, if we can do shots on the time, Stephanie is gonna say condoms of therapy, we all be drunk.
SPEAKER_01:Like, we all laid out. I think we would have been laid out in the first 50% of the books because we're not gonna make it to the outro reckless.
SPEAKER_02:No, she was so dangerous.
SPEAKER_01:She was so restless. I want to give a shout out to Tasha's earrings because she kept theme. Oh, queen and her queen earrings. I want y'all to be able to see that. You know, the little things. It's the little things. It is the little things.
SPEAKER_03:All right. Well, we appreciate you guys for joining us yet again. And before we close, you know the vibes. We always save space for something to sit with, sip on, or carry into your week. A lit challenge to move you, a top for thought to ground you, or a memorable quote from the book that lingers like a good sip. So, this episode we're gonna be closing out with a top for thought that is queenie inspired. And this one is an ode to mental health awareness. So, the top for thought is some some wounds don't want closure, they want care. Name them and let the work begin. Okay, that's it for this episode of Black Girls Lip Podcast, where fine women, fine literature, and fine libations always meet. To the words that found you, the poor that held you, and the version of you that showed up to listen. If it made you think, feel, or clink, pour it forward. Share us on your favorite social media platforms and make room for someone else at the table. We'll be back next time with In the Meantime by Love Belvin, one of Steph's favorite authors. A grown folks love story about waiting well, healing deeper, and the kind of romance that doesn't rush but absolutely doesn't stall. Okay, Balcaster. Until then, read boldly and sit slowly. Cheers.
SPEAKER_00:Cheers. Thank you for listening to the Black Girls Lip Podcast. Join us for our next pour and our next page in the meantime by Love Belvin. Make sure to like, subscribe, comment, and follow.
