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Hey Bookish Baddies, welcome to Black Girls Lip.

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Where fine women, fine literature, and fine libations collide. Step into the lit life. Black girls lit starts now.

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Black women are so complex.

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Hey, Bookish Baddies, and welcome back to Black Girls Lit Podcast. It's your girl Tasha. And I'm Lex. And it's Steph and Star. Hey y'all. Welcome back. Welcome back. It's February and Love is in the air. We have a little romance book for you today. And I really cannot wait to hear everyone's opinion on this one. I felt some ways, so I can't wait to see what y'all have to say about Steph's favorite author. She loves love. You see how they started it?

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The shade.

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We're gonna go ahead and dive right in. Let's get us started with our beverage of the month.

SPEAKER_05: 1:11

Yes, yes. All right. So today we will be featuring Vulcan tequila. We love a tequila drink here. So a little bit about Vulcan. It is distilled in the historic El Jalisco, Mexico. This tequila was awarded the best in the world according to the Tasting Alliance's 2025 Top Shelf Awards. Because top shelf only for us ladies. Yes. And only the best. There is no additive tequilas crafted from Highlands and the Lowlands Agave, which provide it with a vibrant flavor profile. And because it's tequila, you know we are pairing it with several Mexican dishes that we'll be eating throughout the episode and letting y'all know what we think. The spicy bold flavors of the food enhance the tequila. So first we're going to try a shot of our Vulcan tequila. And before we shoot it, can we just shout out to these BGL shot glasses? They're so cute. All right, ladies. Cheers. Cheers.

SPEAKER_06: 2:24

Oh, she liked that.

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That's a big shot. Nope. That was a big shot.

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That's good. Starts off sweet, but you know, it was that smooth.

SPEAKER_04: 2:33

It was actually good. I'm I'm not mad at it. Did y'all drink our whole shot at once? No.

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I did not drink my whole shot, though. Okay, yeah. That's not a double shot. This is definitely a double shot.

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This is not your average shot glass. So double shot.

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Drink responsibly. You need DGL.

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But the book was given what it was supposed to get. No, it's actually. Okay, Chop Shuffle Awards. We see you. It's good.

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Sweet, spicy. Yummy. Okay. All right, Steph, you want to tell us about what we are reading and who it's written by.

SPEAKER_06: 3:07

Yes, let's get into it. We are reading in the meantime is a duology that follows Hayden and Ishawn's intricate story. When a one-night stand turns into two, the consequences are complicated. Find out how small of a world it truly is when you encounter a stranger you thought would be one and done. Yes, this is my favorite author. And I will preface it with saying this might not be the ideal first book to read by her. She did warn us. I did, but it's okay. So a little bit about Love Belvin. She's a native of the Tri-State area and now lives in Delaware Valley. She's an avid reader and enjoys dinner parties with her closest girlfriends. While she enjoys many things, nothing excites her more than curling up with a glass of wine and a good romance novel. Love has been dubbed the Adult Contemporary Series Queen with over 30 titles to her name. She is best known for her debut release, Loved and Probable Possibility series. And by far that would be the best to start with.

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And Loki, I want to go to one of these uh little dinner parties. She's throwing. Maybe if we say good things, she'll invite us.

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Okay, absolutely. So that being said, we're gonna go into the book rating of this. And please be gentle.

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All right, y'all know how we do. Okay, cheers, four stars. We have sip for three stars, babysit. If you know two stars, that's it take a little bit, and then of course send it back, you know, which we hate to do. I will begin. I gotta keep it real with y'all. This is so crazy. Like the last few books I have not been cheersing a lot. And I'm gonna have to say babysit. Okay, this is the thing. Although I love a good romance, I felt like they were not together enough in this book for me for to even like really see their relationship. And maybe it's because it was not the right book to start with, but I it was definitely a babysit. It was hard for me to get through. I felt like the story got started like in the last 10 pages of the book. So I they just were not together enough for me to like see their romantic journey. And I really wanted, you know, in this whole romance season, I really was wanting it. So um, yes, definitely a babysit. And sorry. You don't have to apologize, Kirby.

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Sorry, not sorry.

SPEAKER_06: 5:43

It's okay. Because we've had some rough ones in the past where we all toggle between cheers and send it back.

SPEAKER_05: 5:53

Um, I'ma also babysit it. Um I think Star said it best. It was giving to be romance.

SPEAKER_00: 6:00

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05: 6:02

Very much that. Like it was entertaining to read. So I actually got through it pretty quickly. It was entertaining. I will say it's not like a lovey dovey book. It's definitely a schmutt novel. Um, so yeah, 'tis the season if you're ready to have a tussle in the sheets. Cause they surely did. And Belvin can definitely write a sex scene. I will, I will give her that. Girl. She really, she really took me there. So yeah. Take me through that. Take me through that. Very much up and through there. Um, but yeah, still a babysit. It wasn't, it wasn't a very strong storyline to me and a lot of holes. So understandable.

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I'ma go with Sip.

unknown: 6:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_06: 6:48

And for me, I I love her, but I think she brought too many characters from her other series. And if you don't have an understanding of her writing, I feel like it's kind of hard to understand. So everything that you're saying from your perspective is truly understandable. For me, it was I could I could sip through it because I just love her books. There's a handful that I really don't care for. I guess it's just the guys or, you know, whatever the storyline may be. But this one, it was easy to get through because I'm accustomed to her writing style and knowing what she's bringing. It's a lot of anxiety in a lot of her books. Like, I have to read it, I have to read it to know what's gonna happen. So I give her that. And she does, in other books, she does give you more details about her characters. And in this case, it does jump you right into it where some of them there's a buildup. And I think this one being two books, I think she just possibly crammed a lot into it. So it's understandable the different views from everybody.

SPEAKER_03: 7:54

So I'm sorry. So Lex already kind of gave you a hint. I'm I'm gonna go with babysit. I'm not sending it back. Reason being because, again, the Tubi movie reference, it's it's the bad, you got you're invested. Like, okay, now I've gotten all the way to this point. I must know what's gonna happen with these characters, right? Like, I'll like I'm not gonna get this far and not finish it. Definitely the sex scenes were very, very detailed and very well written. There were some nuances with the characters that I did not like, but we'll, I'm sure we'll get there. There were too many characters that were unnecessary. Like, I get I get it, but I don't get it. Especially getting to the end of the book. We didn't need to know all them people.

SPEAKER_06: 8:44

We did not need to know all those people for the story. It was that one, that particular one, I would say by far.

SPEAKER_03: 8:50

Yeah, we we could have got half of them introduced in book one and maybe somewhere later on, but we didn't need all them people for the story. So that it was it was a lot to get through. But you know, it it is what it is. We're here now.

SPEAKER_04: 9:04

All right, all right, Tasha. Now that we know how you feel about it, let's go ahead and just jump right into these um these drinks and discussion. Um, I think, star, you have our first drink today.

SPEAKER_03: 9:18

Absolutely. So this one is appropriately titled Mama's Baby, Daddy's Maybe. So this is our special take on Not Daddy's Maybe. Is that what I said? What did I say? Did I say that? No, you said it right. Oh, okay. You said it right.

SPEAKER_06: 9:34

But it was after you put it together. I was like, y'all ooh. Creative.

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Yeah, that was all all due to the creative Tasha on the team. So this is a special paloma recipe. So for those of you that are familiar with, you know, tequila drinks, a paloma is a traditional type drink. So for this one, we have the Vulcan tequila, the feature Vulcan tequila, some lime juice, a little agave, simple syrup, honey, whatever your whatever your preference of sweetener, and some fresh squeezed grapefruit juice is what we have going on here. So this is our mama's baby, daddy's maybe. Cheers, ladies. I do like a palomo.

SPEAKER_04: 10:16

I do refreshing.

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It's giving day out the spa.

SPEAKER_04: 10:20

Anytime with some grapefruit, yeah. But I definitely I enjoy palomo.

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It's not too much grapefruit. It's like, it's I like it. I'm here for it. And that tequila is very smooth in there. Okay. So that's gonna take us into our first question. So our first question. So we talk a lot about a woman's body and her choice and her rights. But now let's talk about the man's rights in regards to pregnancy. So the question that we have is was Hayden wrong for not telling Ishaan that he was the father of her baby? A little bit of preface, right, before we we jump all the way into the details. So Hayden and Ashaan are the two main characters, even though we have 50, 1100 other people in the book that we didn't necessarily need to know. Um, but anyway, sorry, I digress. Hayden and Ashaan, they meet for what is supposed to be a one-night stand twice.

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Do you want to tell the people how? I think that's not giving too much away.

SPEAKER_03: 11:26

I mean, no.

SPEAKER_05: 11:27

It just makes it interesting.

SPEAKER_03: 11:29

It's yeah, so Hayden and her girls go on a trip, right? A girls' trip. Last night of the trip, they decide that they're going to role play. They they were in Vegas, right? Yeah, they were in Vegas. So, you know, use your imagination. They decide that they're gonna all dress up and roleplay. Hayden decides not to go out with the group, and she ends up meeting Ashan in the hotel bar under the guise and premise of being a sex worker. And that was that was their initial interaction and encounter, which again was supposed to be a one-night stand, but turned into a two-night stand, and then turned into oops, now we're pregnant. Yay. So that's that's how we get here. And then again, the question was Hayden wrong for not telling him that she was pregnant by him, that the baby was his?

SPEAKER_06: 12:23

No. Because they didn't have information. I mean, at this point, like she could have tried, but how do you try with nothing? No recollection of even of a name. And that what bothers me is you don't even know the man's name, and I understand the chemistry and the intensity of their connection during their times, but the whole, you know, stuff, unprotected sex, I understand the heated passion, but once again, you're putting yourself in a position and then you don't know the guy's name. So my first response is no, because of the details that I'm aware in the book, which is she didn't have a lot to go with.

SPEAKER_04: 13:00

Okay, well, let me tell you what step is wrong.

SPEAKER_03: 13:02

Uh yeah. Okay, and wait, wait, wait. And so to be fair, she didn't get pregnant after the first time. I think she was it? I think. I don't know. We got that clarification.

SPEAKER_04: 13:14

If it was I don't know if we know after the first time or the second time.

SPEAKER_03: 13:18

Because remember, he was like fully prepared. He had like all the he had all the protection in the condoms, and there was a time that they had an unprotected interaction because they had multiple sessions in one. But I can't remember if it was the initial session where they ran out of condoms or if it was the second.

SPEAKER_04: 13:36

So it may have been like, oh, well, if it was the first time, like, oh, well, she never, she didn't even know who it was, so how's she gonna tell them? But the facts that we have are that she did see him again. She did know that it was his baby. And he asked him, no, she knew because she knew she hadn't moved anybody else. Yeah, by that same time. Yeah. But this thing, so at the time when he's asking, why are you still playing games? Like, I I don't know. I gotta, well, let me take a test. And I mean, and I don't, and just girl, stop. You know it's his baby. The man asked you straight up an honest question. You did owe him an honest answer because it's not, it's not just your baby. Now, both of y'all made a baby, and now if he chooses to walk away, hey, that's his business. But for you to take that away and be like, oh well, dog, I'm I'm having this baby on my own, this and that, like that's not good. That's not okay.

SPEAKER_03: 14:24

Listen, Hayden was a whole fool. Point, point blank, and the period. Now, again, in fairness, they did take some precautions, right? Like they they ran out of condoms, but they did take precautions in being that they got tested, you know, they both got tested before they shared their results. And again, Ishawn is like this, the man. He's the man. So there's a lot of resources and things that were available.

SPEAKER_06: 14:52

So you ain't on birth control.

SPEAKER_03: 14:53

That they had access to for the, you know, the responsible part in the testing and all of that. But the irresponsible part of having unprotected sex with a stranger, right? Is ultimately what it ends up being. And now you're pregnant and now you're trying to put on this, I got it, I got it, I don't need nobody, I don't expect, like, shut, shut the hell up. It would have been different. There are men out there, you know, and we're not gonna drag my black men because what we don't do, right? But there are men out there of of any, of all races, right? Yeah. That don't own up to their responsibilities and, you know, all the things. But he was not presenting to be that person. She was doing a lot. Like she was like, she really was doing a lot.

SPEAKER_06: 15:41

I think her resolution was she was there already. She was there, she accepted it. And I said, so that's why my initial answer was no, because in the very beginning, she had, you knew you were pregnant, you took on, I'm doing this on my own. And then when she saw him, I felt like she should have been honest too. I felt like she should have told him. But I she's such a strong-willed person and strong-minded with her decision making that it's she's a she has a strong veneer and very stony in regards to allowing people in because she was even that way with her cousin. Right. Because she was trying to rebuild with her.

SPEAKER_05: 16:15

Sure. But I think a lot of the undertones in this book was really talking about like childhood trauma and like stopping cycles and things like that. And I feel like her actions were directly going against like what she was trying to portray for herself. Like, if you know, of course, the point where she knew that yes, this is Ashawn's baby, and then she actively was like, No, I'm not gonna tell him. I'm gonna do this on my own, I'm gonna do this way, I'm gonna do it that way, knowing that like it's important for parent for kids to have two parents in the home if possible. So, why are you like almost making a situation harder for yourself when it doesn't need to be that way? He was extremely rich, rich as hell, actually. And he was willing to do what he needed to do if the kid was his. So the fact that she still was like, no, I'm gonna do it by myself, knowing that she's literally in the best circumstance possible that she could be in, it's like you're choosing to struggle. And I don't, I think that's and that be just true.

SPEAKER_04: 17:26

Like the child, like the child's more than that. So you're just never gonna be at some point, the child's gonna be like, Oh, well, where's my where's my dad? And you're gonna be like, Well, I I had an opportunity, but I never told him. If you don't want to have a relationship with now, I'm not you don't have to have a relationship with him, but you do owe it to a guy to be, hey, yes, I I am pregnant with your child. He said, now it'd be it'd be different if the one night stand happened, she never got his number, never knew it was, and she couldn't tell him. But even in a case like that, if you saw him in the streets one day, you'd be like, hey, guess what happened that one time when we met up? Let's say I you you do owe him that. Because again, it is both of your child. And I would hey, now I don't know if I'm talking from because I have, you know, like two sons, but if I at some point found out that they had kids out there that we know we didn't know about, like, that would piss me off. Because they are, I mean, because they are people who would step up and take care of a child. If they wouldn't, I would. Like, so don't be taking, don't be taking this wonderful family away from any child that might be out there in this world. Yes, I definitely I I was I was not real with her in her decision making.

SPEAKER_03: 18:36

It's extremely selfish. Like you guys are saying, the relationship is one thing. By all means, you don't have to have a relationship. But I think you do owe people the opportunity, right? One, to show up and be a parent and be present, right? If that's what they choose to do. And you also owe the child, like, listen, just because things don't work out with two grown people doesn't mean that you don't need to know this whole other, you know what I mean? Like, because there's not, it's not only the other parent, but that extension, right? Like whatever their family dynamic is, right? There's a whole nother piece of and part of a person that and and at the end of the day, if the child and the other parent don't develop a relationship, then so be it. That's on them, you know what I mean? Like that's on the other parent and the child. But to completely take away that option is who are you? Who do you think you are? And he wasn't even presenting to be that type of thing. Not even having a reason.

SPEAKER_05: 19:40

You just simply didn't want to. And it's like, girl, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_03: 19:44

Yeah. It was ridiculous. Yeah, she was being ridiculous. But again, there there was some it was stemming from her own issues. And I think that's that's where it's important, like, and what Steph talks about all the time like condoms in therapy, right? Like, a lot of times. When we don't deal with our shit, we carry it, we, you know what I mean? And like we push it on other people. And now my unresolved issues now become your issues that I'm creating. And for no reason, for literally for no reason. He was not that guy. Like he was not that guy. So it was, it was so ridiculous. I I remember we were texting. There was a point where we were texting each other, like, enough. Like, girl. I was like, I give it a change.

SPEAKER_04: 20:30

I was just like, she had trauma. I tried to play devil's advocate.

SPEAKER_06: 20:34

I tried to pull. I tried to pull it.

SPEAKER_04: 20:36

And we appreciate that stuff.

SPEAKER_06: 20:37

But I mean I mean, it's difficult. Like some of the I was like, girl, who?

SPEAKER_03: 20:40

And Rich, a whole millionaire. And didn't I tell y'all?

SPEAKER_04: 20:43

I said the way I would be barefoot and pregnant. Like, yes. All of the people. You want me to look. Yeah, don't worry about it. I do believe what Lake said was she'd be in a helicopter on her way to uh coming into the baby shower on a helicopter. Because what? It was so ridiculous. Girl. Okay. There was no, there was no reason. All right, Steph, talk about the trauma. Go ahead and girl, lead us into number two. Oh, it leads us to number two where it's your blocked.

SPEAKER_06: 21:10

Apparently. Since, you know, mama's baby, daddy's baby, it turns into your block, since you don't want to tell him. So this next cocktail that we'll be having is continues with the volcane tequila. Volcane? Tequila. So it's the volcane smash, which is very refreshing. It's a mix of lemon, honey syrup, mint, and club soda. Cheers, ladies.

SPEAKER_04: 21:39

Cheers.

SPEAKER_06: 21:41

Quite minty. Refreshing. It is very mint.

SPEAKER_04: 21:44

It may be a little too much mint for me.

SPEAKER_06: 21:46

Almost mojito. It is but with tequila.

SPEAKER_04: 21:50

Okay, is that what it is? That's what it's supposed to be. Well, which is crazy because she loves America. I do love mojito. And I do love tequila. So it's weird that they're not making a great combination. But I would say these taquitos, shout out to taquitos.

SPEAKER_06: 22:07

As we nibble and drink, the next discussion is going to be about Hayden and her mom had a very complicated relationship. And more people these days are going non-communication with their parents. What do we as adults owe our parents in terms of relationship? Love and access.

SPEAKER_04: 22:27

I'm going to say, okay, this is the thing. Because I do know a couple of people who have stopped communicating with their parents. And I didn't understand it. I'm like, what? You can't just not talk to your mom. You can't hang up the phone on your mom. But I'm starting to realize I think of a mom as my mom or me. Everybody ain't got that. So you do get to a point in life where you are able and you are allowed to protect yourself. And that means you don't get access anymore, then hey, you blocked.

SPEAKER_06: 22:59

You gotta protect your peace.

SPEAKER_05: 23:00

I agree. Like, and I think, especially in the black community, I think a lot of the times you hear like anything could happen in the household, whatever, abuse, trauma, whatever, whatever it is. But you hear a lot, well, at the end of the day, that's your mom or that's your dad. And it's almost as if simply because they birthed you, you owe them respect, even though they haven't respected you for your entire life. I think that's a lot that we hear, like giving people the benefit of the doubt simply because they brought you into this world. I'm guilty of saying that oftentimes. And I mean, I think especially the generation coming up now, they're very big on boundaries and setting boundaries, especially if boundaries have been crossed. I think that especially once you're an adult, and if your parents have truly ch caused you harm or whatever it is that has happened and you've tried to reconcile and it has not worked, then you don't owe them a damn thing. You really don't, because what are we going to do? Continue this cycle of disrespect or and make my kids think that it's okay for you to treat me or other people this way. Like, no, because we're all adults now. So but that's your mom and she she's all right, she'd be over there, and I'll be at my house. But she don't want to take accountability for nothing and want to wreck. No, I don't owe you anything, especially Hayden's mom. A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_06: 24:38

I completely agree. I mean, I'm an advocate of you choose your friends, you can't choose your family. And that being said, I understand that they're family, but there has to be, once again, that protect that peace portion for me. And if me stepping away from the relationship for a while is something that I need to do, then I'm okay with that. And a lot of us have done that. I feel like I know I've done it, it's done it in my family. There are people that, you know, you might be a little too toxic. Why would I want to surround myself? The the time that I do have away from work, if I'm away from my family because we're doing something together as a, you know, just the cousins or whatever. I want to be able to know that it's not gonna always be toxic, like, oh, the drama, here comes the drama. And it follows you where it within your friend circle, you have your friend circle that turns into family. And once again, you still might have to walk away from it, but at least you guys can talk to each other. With friendships, I feel like you guys are you're supposed to be there for each other. You can communicate, you can recognize each other's flaws and you receive it. But when it's your family, i.e. Hayden's mom, where she finds a way to justify actions of another party and all I've done. And it's like, yeah, girl, I hear you about I was a single mom, you you had sex with a married man and ended up having a baby, but your brother wasn't right. And I underst I I hear you, but he wasn't right. He wasn't right. If Hayden has to put a certain wall with her mom because she's not accepting the certain things, then I get it. Yep, it's her mom, but I get it. It looks like Star has something to share.

SPEAKER_04: 26:22

I can't watching your face, like I just I'm really interested. What's you want to say?

SPEAKER_03: 26:28

It's all numbered that I completely agree. I'm I'm laughing because I I'm hearing you guys and I can't help but think about myself. Um and my toxic trait is I am going to take it too far. So I know that about myself. People that know me know that about me. I'm very good with difficult conversations, and I'm very good with boundaries. So, from a parent perspective, I agree with Tasha. Like when I think about mom, obviously, right, there's the relationship that I have with my mom, and then there's the mom that I strive to be. So, what do you mean, right? But in all fairness, right, everybody doesn't have that relationship. So, a parent, from my perspective, a parent's role is to protect. You teach, you raise, you protect until, right? Until your child is able to do those things for themselves. So if you don't do your part, what does your child owe you? Not a damn thing. Not a damn thing. Amen. And that goes for parents, that goes for aunties, uncles, cousins, friends, sisters, brothers, like Me, Ma, Paul. It does not matter. Like, it doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day, like, we people will only treat you how you allow them to. Right. Right? Right. So if you don't set those boundaries for yourself, then yeah, like people are gonna walk all over that and do weird shit. Nobody has time for that. I don't even know. I'm a little back and forth because I don't know how much we actually got in book one about why her and her mother's relationship was estranged. I feel like it was hinted at, but we really didn't get that full situation in book one, I don't believe. So it was, it was a little bit of, hmm, like what's what I wonder what's going on there. So I think there was a point where I didn't make the assumption just because trauma culture and you know the excuses that gave me. They probably hinted at it, hinted, they hinted at it, but the detail, I think all of the additional detail, I don't know how much of that we actually either.

SPEAKER_06: 28:51

Yeah, that's more interesting. But yeah, but it didn't, it's like But they did talk about the uncle.

SPEAKER_03: 28:55

And the uncle still was living with the mother, like he apparently molested a couple of them. Yes. All of them. All of them. All of them. But was still living. Was still living with the mom.

SPEAKER_04: 29:05

Go go back there and say hey to your uncle. What? Like, so let me say, even the fact, so even the relationship that she had with her mom, though it was strained, I wouldn't even be able to have that relationship. Like she was a very good thing. Because like Star said, Yeah, a parent's job is to protect. So, yeah, so I am of, I'm like, oh, great, working out with you. That's your mom, you know, that's your mom. I said, which is again, I've I've said it, I've had friends, and I'm like, and I do have to walk it back sometimes because again, like I said, when I think of mom, I do I think of what I know of a mom. And but when I think of Hayden's mom, like, girl, no, you don't owe her nothing. Like, no, she mm-mm, she don't need to talk to you. You definitely need to take your baby over there because she doesn't know what protection means. And no, don't worry about it. Like, you you ain't gonna, she don't need to come to your new house, you need to go back over there. Like, none of that. Like, you don't owe her anything. And I do, and I do agree with you, like that. It's really this up-and-coming generation that really they real good boundaries and they real being like, oh no, we don't have to put up with that. Whereas in older generations, it was a lot of, oh, well, you know, we breaking bread with people that you know have done stuff that is totally inappropriate, but we all still got to sit Thanksgiving together, like, what? And like, and that is so crazy. Like, people just like the stuff that people would sweep underneath the rug, bad behavior, mind blowing.

SPEAKER_03: 30:29

And not even to the extent of just, you know, molestation. Like, that's an extreme. You know what I mean? Like, that's an extreme situation, extreme case. But all bad behavior, like, I'm calling that shit on a carpet. Like, no, because we are adults, and I know there's a dynamic. There was a time where I, a couple of occasions where I can recall, like, oh no, I'm gonna say something. I don't know what the rest of y'all got going on, but I'm gonna speak on it, and I'm gonna speak on it to everybody so that it can't be said what was said and who said what. This is what I said, and this is who I said it to, and this is why I said it, and this is what I meant. You see what I'm saying? So, like, from a culture standpoint, I do like the fact that the younger generation, they're different. They're different, they're a little, they're slightly disrespectful, but they're very, they are very, they don't really care. Disrespectful and don't pay a bill. Yeah, like they're kind of like don't even pay a bill. They're kind of like borderline. I I tell my, I have a really good friend, I tell her all the time, your kids are the most respectful, disrespectful children I've ever come across in my life. Because they will, ma'am, sir, you no, sir, yes, sir, yes, ma'am, thank you, please. Like they'll do all that to death. But when it comes to how they feel about something, or if they agree or don't agree, like, oh, they're gonna speak very candidly and truthfully about that. And I think that's okay as long as it's respectful. You know what I mean? And I've always taught, you know, I've always taught my son that, like, it's okay for you to advocate for yourself, regardless of who you're talking to, as long as you do it respectfully.

SPEAKER_04: 32:13

And you know, even because even when you said that about like, you know, we're talking about like the molestation being the extreme, but even sometimes I know like being young and being in situations with adults around like neighbors doing stuff that probably had no business like seeing, like, we don't need to expose children to everything. Like, what? Mm-hmm. No, you can't take a round with them, y'all. They yeah, why y'all doing that? You're y'all see the kids out here playing. That this ain't no conversation for the kids. Like, you know, like and people just not even thinking, oh, they all right, they all right.

SPEAKER_03: 32:42

No, no, they're not. No, they hear you.

SPEAKER_04: 32:44

So you ain't gotta be babying them, like, and I and I'm the one.

SPEAKER_03: 32:47

Like, I'm the one that, oh, well, since since we all talking about it, well, what y'all not gonna do is have this discussion in front of me because you know, this is what what are we doing? You know what I mean? So, yeah, I'm I'm definitely an envelope pusher, but you know, yeah, ultimately, no, she don't or her mama nothing. No, she don't know. Nobody knows. Not a thing. Yeah, that shit was crazy. Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_05: 33:15

And ladies, that'll bring us to our final cocktail of the episode. It is called Stubborn Like a Jalisco Mule. That's a mouthful. Yeah, stubborn like a Jalisco mule.

SPEAKER_03: 33:32

So, named after. Can I just give a shout out to Miss Creativity? Because if y'all want to know who comes up with the names for these beverages, it is Tasha's creative ass. Because that was a mouthful. Sorry, go ahead, let's. It was a lot.

SPEAKER_05: 33:47

Okay, named after the Mexican state where tequila originates, this drink replaces the vodka traditionally found in a mule with Volcan tequila. We're gonna add lime juice and ginger beer beer. Oh my lord. And you have a great little cocktail. So cheers, ladies.

SPEAKER_06: 34:08

Cheers.

SPEAKER_05: 34:09

Love a mule.

SPEAKER_06: 34:10

I'm not a ginger ginger beer fan.

SPEAKER_05: 34:12

I'm not a ginger beer, but I actually don't like this.

SPEAKER_06: 34:14

This is good. Maybe I don't have enough tequila anymore.

SPEAKER_05: 34:17

No, we can do that. Well, while we're sipping and determining if we like this cocktail, our final discussion question is Hayden being a strong independent woman has very stubborn and resist, it was very stubborn and resistant to accepting help from Ishan. Is there such a thing as being too independent? Yes. Yes. Oh, my bad. Yes. Because let that man help you.

SPEAKER_04: 34:45

Okay, I am all for, hey, I and D E. I mean, we could be strong independent women, but um there is a point where sometimes it could be to your own detriment, and you have to be able to get out of your own way. Like, girl, I understand your trauma and everything like that. And so you're coming from this, from the place you're coming from. But at some point you do have to get out of your own way and allow some good things in. And that's not even just in terms of like relationships. It could be like with jobs, it could be like anything. Sometimes you can be like so stubborn, just so set in your ways that, oh, I got it, I got it. I mean, there's been times I'm up here trying to hang up. I don't know what kind of foolishness in my house just because I'm like, oh, well, I don't need Alvin to do it. Like, what? Girl, just wait for him to come home. Like, no, I want it done at noon. He told me he can't do it till one o'clock. I can do it. Now I'm up here, got pain in my back for no reason. Like, you know, just stop being stubborn. Wait a minute, let somebody help you. So I do definitely think there can be times in all parts of life where we could let our independence be just a bit too much. And Hayden definitely was doing the absolute most.

SPEAKER_06: 35:54

I feel like she is a detriment to her personal life. When when it comes to work and business, she flourishes. But when it comes to personal matters, I'm like, you have to figure it out. And she was exposed to a lot of different things. So you would think personally she can overcome us some overcome some of these things. And she still didn't. And you know, you only depended on your cousin out of everybody there. And it's like you refuse to get assistance to even to the point where your apartment was flooded and Ishawn had to force you to stay with him.

SPEAKER_04: 36:28

When she was not trying to accept help, when girl, there is poop water in your basement. A whole fool. You don't have anywhere to go. What girl?

SPEAKER_03: 36:39

A whole fool. Girl. She was annoying for a whole fool. She was annoying fool. Like, I yeah. She just wanted to struggle. She just wanted to struggle. She wants to be too independent. Yes. Absolutely. Yes. Girl, we get it. We get it. Strong black woman. And nobody taking that away from you. Nobody's taking that away. But when it when every single thing, it was like, it was everything. Everything is saying, oh honey, sis, you need help. Like, so sometimes when the when the universe starts talking, you gotta take a step back and say, okay. Maybe I need a law. Maybe, maybe I am being a little too stubborn. And I and I'm speaking from past experiences. I'm definitely in my princess era. So if anybody is looking for a princess to take care of and wants to be a prince charming, I'm here for all of it. But just you, yeah, yes, you can be too damn.

SPEAKER_04: 37:45

Girl, if you do not get up on this Google and find this horse-drawn carriage to bring you to this baby shower, there was so many things going on.

SPEAKER_03: 37:55

It was the apartment flooded. Like it, there was stuff going on with the job, like they were getting ready to lose funding, and she's like stressing about that. And not to mention going back to the simple fact that you decided to have this damn baby by this man that you didn't even know.

SPEAKER_06: 38:12

Like she was so important. I mean, and that's why the title is called In the Meantime, because she was like, in the meantime, in the meantime, to make what decision, girl, you only have a certain time frame, and then she passes that time. I was like, Hayden irritated myself. She frustrated me. She frustrated me. But my question to y'all, really quick, is what did you think of him having the symptoms? So when he saw that she was pregnant, the assumption for me was automatically you would know that to your baby because not automatically. Okay, by the time they go to the appointment gets details, da-da-da-da-da. But just him having the symptoms of the food, I think it was probably when they got to the banana peppers and crackers.

SPEAKER_04: 38:55

Girl, he knew that was his baby.

SPEAKER_05: 38:57

He knew that was his baby, like way before they. But have y'all ever heard of such a thing? I've heard people talking about it. I've never seen it in action. But that's what having the same cravings? Like the man taking on kind of like the same symptoms of a pregnant person. Of his pregnant partner. So whether it's like eating weird, like mostly it's like eating weird things.

SPEAKER_06: 39:20

But he was always tired. He was sluggish. He needed more naps where he could be.

SPEAKER_04: 39:26

I've only heard that in romance novels.

SPEAKER_03: 39:29

That's why I was like I've only been in romance. No, I do remember back in the day, like, I do remember that being a thing back in the day, like when I was younger. I probably have jokingly asked Chris that before, like, you sleeping a whole lot, like what's you good? Like, what's up? I think that that did used to be a thing, but in real life, I don't know that I know anybody. So I just I I don't even think that I paid. I paid attention to it, but I was like, oh, that's just for For the two P movie. Like for the plot. Yeah, like that's just a part of the script. Yeah, like I didn't think anything of it to relate it to real life for real.

SPEAKER_05: 40:09

What a book. Yeah. Yeah. What a series.

SPEAKER_04: 40:12

Any any final thoughts on um in the meantime? Well, I'm just okay, this thing. I I have not read the second one.

SPEAKER_01: 40:19

I have.

SPEAKER_04: 40:20

I I am gonna read it, and we we're gonna do a little something special with that one, right? Because we because clearly, okay, we we can't even give our full opinion on it because Exactly. We were in the book started at the like the book ended at the start of the story for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 40:34

So we definitely have to come back with the second one. It irritated my soul. The book ended so the book literal cliffhanger. Like literal cliffhanger. And it was like, you've got to be kidding me. So it is prone my phone. It is the Tubi movie that forces you to watch the sequel movies.

SPEAKER_06: 40:54

All of her series does that to you.

SPEAKER_03: 40:56

Yeah. So now we we have to watch the sequel of the top. Because there was no way to be continued. Yes. Definitely to be continued. I I can't wait till we continue.

SPEAKER_05: 41:08

But yeah, you know, in the meantime.

SPEAKER_03: 41:10

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05: 41:12

I just say if y'all find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well, let him take care of you. There's nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong with it. That's all I have to say.

SPEAKER_03: 41:24

Again. Um, and will. Again. Let that man take care of you. Listening. I'm I'm here for it.

SPEAKER_04: 41:31

I agree with that. I'm accepting submissions. We don't have to keep doing this. So we were all frustrated. Like, girl, we I think we were mad right because we're reading it and on our way to work and stuff. We getting up, going to work. We tired. And we like, girl, he wants you just to live in his house. Like, you ain't gotta do nothing.

SPEAKER_03: 41:51

He you don't have to cook, you don't have to do no, you don't have to do no laundry, like you don't even got a shop. You got security, you got a shit, like girl, you got in-house therapy. Girl, no. It would be like that.

SPEAKER_04: 42:04

You're gonna live with that man. Never mind the fact that your current apartment got shit flowing through the floor. Like, and you still resist it, like what?

SPEAKER_03: 42:12

That you don't have money to, that you can't afford to get taken care of. Because the city is not coming up. What are you fighting with? Like what is happening? And you don't have the$11,000 that it's gonna take to get it taken care of. So where are you and this baby finna live?

SPEAKER_06: 42:27

But it was gonna take time, so she still needed to leave. A whole she still needed to leave.

SPEAKER_03: 42:32

A whole boo.

SPEAKER_06: 42:33

Mm-hmm. Mm-mm-mm.

SPEAKER_03: 42:34

All right, y'all. All right. Well, there it is there. So we love you, love Belvin. We we love you, girl.

SPEAKER_06: 42:44

This just, you know, I told him to start with the I told him.

SPEAKER_03: 42:51

So before we close, you know the vibe. We always save space for something to sit with, sip on, and carry into your week. A lit challenge to move you, a top for thought to ground you, or a memorable quote from the book that lingers like a good sip. This month is about identity, desire, and the messy, unpredictable ways we navigate both. The choices we make, the boundaries we test, and the consequences we sometimes can't foresee. So the top for thought, we're gonna do a top for thought and a listener's challenge. So the top for thought is Hayden's story is messy, reckless, and at times frustrating. It reminds us that life, love, and desire rarely follow rules. And sometimes the choices we make leave us bruised or questioning everything. Who do you allow in and who do you walk away from? What do you take with you from the chaos and what do you leave behind? There's no perfect way through. There's only noticing what matters to you, feeling it fully and learning sometimes in spite of yourself. So that's a tougher thought. Yeah, it's pretty deep. Process that. Y'all share that? For our listeners, the listener lid challenge, we're titling it sit with the chaos. This month, take a moment to notice the choices you're making and the ones you're avoiding. Reflect on a desire, boundary, or impulse you've ignored. What is it asking of you? Consider someone or something in your life you've been letting in or shutting out automatically. What would it feel like to question that pattern? Sit with a decision that scares you, frustrates you, or confuses you, and just observe your own feelings without needing to fix them. This challenge isn't about perfection or control, it's about feeling the tension, learning from it, and noticing how your choices shape your world, even when they're messy, complicated, or uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_04: 44:33

Can I just say the mule was a winner of the day for me? Yeah. It was very good.

SPEAKER_03: 44:37

The mule was my drink of choice today. I mixed it up a little bit, added a little extra shot of tequila. I was a fan of anyone to do. I like, I'm blocked.

SPEAKER_04: 44:48

Oh, did you?

SPEAKER_03: 44:49

You're blocked. You're like, you're blocked. You have the menti one. The mint. Oh, so you ended up loving the menti one. Yeah. Imagine that. All right, you guys. Well, that's it for this episode of Black Girls Lit, where fine women, fine literature, and fine libations always meet. To the words that found you, the part that held you, and the version of you that showed up to listen. If it made you think, feel, or clink, pour it forward. Share us on your favorite social media platforms and make room for someone else at the table. We'll be back next time with our season one finale. Bye, cookies, buddy. Parable of the sower. Until then, read boldly and sit slowly. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

SPEAKER_02: 45:32

Thank you for listening to the Black Girl Slip Podcast. Join us for our next pour and our next page, Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler. Make sure to like, subscribe, comment, and follow.